


Prelude to war. Or, why do I love the competition?

by Homestuck_fluff296 (Dragony_fluff275)



Series: Davekat rock stuff [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Genderfluid John Egbert/ June Egbert, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Nepeta is drummer., Other, Self-Harm, Trans Vriska Serket
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26079913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragony_fluff275/pseuds/Homestuck_fluff296
Summary: Fantasy-Rock AU, but they're two cover bands and cover Imagine Dragons, Daughtry, etc. Shenanigans. Plus a few appearances by their secret smol child. (My OC) also, there's a war happening.
Relationships: Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: Davekat rock stuff [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893394
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Act 1, Chapter 1: The beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Shots Fired](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816817) by [shadedScribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadedScribe/pseuds/shadedScribe). 
  * Inspired by [Edgewise](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/677086) by krazydiamond. 



> Sleep is nonexisrant! FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!  
> Inner KK hehe

_Ch. 1: the beginning_

Dave was walking along the streets of Earth C, thinking. He decided to pester Rose, who was the band's manager. 

turntechGodhead (TG) has started pestering tentacleTherapist (TT)

TG: hey rose.

TT: yes dave?

TG: If the band scores big, we might get good equipment finally.

TT: that's rich, considering that we pretty much already have that.

TG: fuck off

TT: lel

turntechGodhead has stopped pestering tentacleTherapist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner KK hehe


	2. A1C1P2:The beginning: KK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Survival is a must.

_The beginning, part 2: Karkat_

Karkat was sitting in his apartment, thinking. Sollux entered the room. When Karkat had needed a place to stay, Sollux had offered to help him out. As such, they were roommates. 

SOLLUX: hey kk, wanna know 2omethiing?

KARKAT: SURE. NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO LISTEN TO.

SOLLUX: Well, iif the band 2core2 biig, we may actually get two have decent equiipment for once.

KARKAT: TRUE, BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HOW FUCKING CLOSE TO IMPOSSIBLE THAT IS?

SOLLUX: Ye2, ii have. But, we miight have a chance two shiine for once iin our miiserable liive2.

KARKAT: FAIR ENOUGH, DUDE. *SIGH*

SOLLUX: Well then, iim goiing two the 2tore, anythiing you want?

KARKAT: SURE. HOW ABOUT A CAN OF GOOD GODDAMN LUCK?

SOLLUX: *2iigh* kk, can you please not be 2arca2tiic for once?

KARKAT: FINE. WE NEED MORE MILK. CAN YOU ALSO BUY CAKE MIX AND SHIT? I WANT TO TRY TO MAKE A CAKE.

SOLLUX:2ure, but youll have two clean thiis room fiir2t.

KARKAT: FINE. GET GOING, THE STORE CLOSES IN 3 HOURS.

SOLLUX: Ok, bye kk.

KARKAT: BYE.

Sollux left the room, and Karkat started cleaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End Is Where We Begin...


	3. Intermission one, part one: TimelessArchangel (TA)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, sburb and sgrub did happen. I'm awake now, and I'll fix gamzee when I can.

TimelessArchangel (TA) has started pestertrolling Doc Scratch

TA: H3y A22H0l3

Yes?

TA: Ar3 th3 Que2t b3D2 R3aDy?

Yes. Please stop using the quirk. Even for me, it's hard to translate.

TA: N0

WHY NOT?!

TA: ii have my reasons. There. S33? ii cAn B3 Niic3. 

Oh shut up.

TA: "=:>+(

Wow, alright. I'm impressed, Muse. Krosei Rirzai Strilonde-Vantas, was it not?

TA: Damn 2cratch, you diid y0Ur fUckiin' h0m3woRk. Niic3

Well, I am omniscient.

TA: N0t Fully.

NO, but close enough.

TimelessArchangel has ceased pestertrolling Doc Scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET CONFUSED!!!!! MWAHAHWHAHAGAHA!


	4. I1P2:Scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a water bottle w/ Karkat on it. I don't know who made it, but it was custom-made. Best thing ever.

Well, that certainly was... Interesting. I wonder what the young Muse of War wants quest beds for. After all, his session is dead, and he's already God tier. War is a new aspect, by the way. Extremely rare and powerful. Blood and Time combined. Dangerous. I wonder... No. Couldn't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Confused yet?


	5. A1C2P1: Meeting the competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The singers meet each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation of the bands: Grim Strides(Dave's band): Dave- Main Singer/Guitarist, introduces band before concerts. Dirk -secondary vocals/sound mixing. Rose- violin,management, some singing (rarely.) Jake- singing, guitar. Roxy-drums, equipment cleaning. Calliope -keyboard, stage -related management. Jade- tour management. John/June- manages song releases elsewhere.  
> Altered Misfits(KK's band): Karkat -Main vocals, lead guitar, equipment management, introduces band before concerts. Sollux- drums if Nepeta can't, sound mixing, psionic -related lighting and sfx. Nepeta - drums. Kanaya - management, lighting, some vocals.  
> ???- Visuals, singing, arranges secret events.

A1C2P1: Meeting the competition

Dave and the band waited anxiously outside the record building, hoping they'd scored for their next gig spot. Jade's ears suddenly perked up. 

DAVE: What is it Jade?

Jade: I can hear someone coming. They smell like Alternians.

DIRK: Reckon its the competition?

DAVE: Maybe. 

KARKAT: What the hell? Who are all of you?

DAVE: Dave Strider-Lalonde, Dave Strilonde for short. The last name is because my sister here, her name's Rose Lalonde. We decided to combine the last names for simplicity.

ROSE: Rose Lalonde.

DIRK: Dirk Strider. Only Dave took the full family name.

DAVE: That's because the ironic potential is good.

DIRK: Says you.

ROXY: Roxy Lalonde. I may not look it, but I play a _mean_ drum solo.

JADE: Jade Harley. I had an incident where I became part dog.

JAKE: Jake English. Pleased to meet y'all, but I need to warn you, one of my friends is a bit of a xenophobic shit. Don't go near her. She'll be recognizable.

CALLIOPE: Calliope. I'm a cherUb, by the way.

JOHN/JUNE: John Egbert, but I also go by June. Gender fluidity thing.

KARKAT: KARKAT VANTAS. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SHOUTING. I HAVE NO INSIDE VOICE.

SOLLUX: 2ollux Captor.

NEPETA: :33 *AC is pleased to m33t all the people! This is furry exciting!*

KANAYA: Kanaya Maryam. I Hope We Can All Get Along.

DAVE: So Rose, any news on where we're performing?

NEPETA: :33 *GASP* You purrform? We do too!

DIRK: So, you ARE our competitors. Well, I still hope we can get along.

SOLLUX: 2ame here. ii would liike two be friiends.

KARKAT: (BY THE WAY, JAKE? THANKS FOR THE WARNING ABOUT YOUR "FRIEND.")

JAKE: No problem, chum!


	6. A1C2P2: inner thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inner thoughts of the main couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get more info about ??? in the next chapter.

A1C2P2: inner thoughts

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has started trolling turntechGodhead (TG)

CG: HEY DAVE

TG: yeah bro?

CG: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT COMBINED ASPECTS? 

TG:As in sburb/sgrub aspects?

CG: YEAH. THOSE.

TG: not combined aspects, no. What are they?

CG: (POWERFUL.) (DANGEROUS.) USUALLY HEREDITARY. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN IN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR DEAD SESSIONS.

TG: ok. Why bring it up?

CG: I'VE HEARD RUMORS THAT SOMEONE WITH A COMBINED ASPECT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

TG: ok. Thanks dude. Good to know.

turntechGodhead (TG) has stopped pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG)

Dave sat on his bed in the apartment next to his employer's building, thinking. If someone was looking for him, why would they do it? He couldn't focus. His thoughts kept drifting back to Karkat, how beautiful he was. In a shy, defensive kind of way. _Dammit Dave, FOCUS! Now is not the time..._

_ Karkat _

Karkat lay on his bunk, thinking about his day. He'd just had a conversation with Dave. The man seemed nice, but Karkat had been wrong before. Yet Karkat couldn't forget how pretty he was. _FFFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK! KARKAT, NOW IS NOT THE GODDAMN TIME!! But he's so pretty..._ Karkat fell asleep thinking about Dave and how much he wanted to...ZZZZZZ.


	7. A1C2P3:Challenges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The main couple meet ??? and STRIFE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have the coding knowledge to make a STRIFE menu. :(  
> Also, anyone who can guess who I based Star on wins a virtual cake and five headpats! Think book series, 7 long, days of the week. THOSE are your clues.

_???_

???: Are you in position, Star?

?!?: Yeah, but this is just a mission, right?

???: Yep. Since I have control over Time, Music, and Blood, we should find this easy. You have your sniper, right?

?!?: Yeah.

???: Then let's go.

_Dave_

Dave was walking down the street toward his favorite coffee shop, one open 24/7, when an unmistakable sound rent the air. CRACK! He dodged the bullet, but couldn't dodge the sickles flying at him. He felt pain as they grazed his cheeks. "So, y'all want a fight? Well come get it!" He drew his sword, and prepared to STRIFE!

Suddenly, he could hear a clock ticking. _What in all the...?_ "H3ll0 Dav3. Y0u don't know me, but ii hav3 b33n waiitiing for thii2 for a long tiime. My name i2 Krosei."  "Well, what the hell are you doing out here attacking me for?!" "Con2iider iit a te2t of your fiight or fliight re2pon23." "I can't see you, could you step forward?" "Sure, ii cAn do that." Dave backed away, keeping his sword ready. As Krosei stepped into the light, Dave dropped his sword out of shock. The figure before him was perfectly bisected in terms of features. One side of his body was human, the other was troll. He looked familiar somehow. He wore a set of shades similar to Sollux's, but instead of red, the other lens was purple. "What in the fresh _hell?"_ "It gets weirder. Watch." Dave stood, horrified, as Krosei sliced open his own palm, spilling what appeared to be rainbow blood onto the... Wait. It was floating. FUCK. Krosei licked his palm. Dave gagged, then watched in astonishment as the wound closed. He suddenly realized that the blood had turned to a yellowish-green. "What the...? How?" "I have a combined aspect. War, which is made of the various musics of the lands, plus Time and Blood." "Ok, but-" Dave was cut off as a snarling, hissing ball of fury narrowly missed him. Krosei deftly blocked Karkat's sickles, and fled toward the coffee shop. 

_Karkat_

Karkat was meandering toward his favorite coffee shop, when he heard the unmistakable CRACK! of a high-powered sniper rifle. He ran towards the shop now, missing some of the words, but hearing blades clashing, as well as Dave's voice, "What in the fresh hell?" He missed the rest of the conversation, as he was too busy lunging at the mysterious figure that had attacked Dave. The figure blocked his sickles and spun, fleeing toward the coffee shop. Suddenly, another figure joined the first. This one was holding a sniper rifle that looked horribly familiar. "ERIDAN?! What the hell?!" "No. I am NOT Mr. Ampora. This rifle IS, however, an upgraded version of Ahab's Crosshairs. It's name is the Mariner's Harpoon." Karkat screeched with fury, running to cut down the figure. He was stopped by a blade thrown by the first figure. "Thanks, birdie." Called the second troll. "No problem, Star. C'mon, we gotta run!" Came the response. Now both were running toward the...Quest Bed?! What the hell was a Quest Bed doing here?

_Dave_

Karkat had run after Krosei and his companion. The only thing Dave could think was, _Help him. He'll die if you do nothing._ Dave picked up his sword, and ran after Karkat, fervently hoping that he wouldn't be too late. 

_No one's POV_

Krosei and 'Star' had reached the coffee shop, which they'd turned into it's true form of a Skaian Quest Bed. Karkat skidded to a stop near them, ready to kill. Krosei smiled, waved him forward. He advanced, ready for anything.Suddenly, Krosei did a backflip, alighting near Star.

Dave reached what was formerly the coffee shop, panting. He saw Krosei backflip and land deftly near Star. He watched as Karkat rushed at them, only to be stopped by a blast from the Mariner's Harpoon, splattering bright red blood everywhere. He screamed, running at them, dodging everything they threw at him. Suddenly, Krosei jumped over him, grabbed Karkat's feebly stirring form, and leaped to the Quest Bed. Dave stopped, amazed. He stared as Krosei laid Karkat down on the Quest Bed, murmured what sounded like a prayer, and slit Karkat's throat.

_Karkat_

The world was a blur. Karkat knew he was dying, and wept silently. Suddenly, he felt himself flying through the air. He was being laid down on the Quest Bed. "Please work," he heard from somewhere above him, far away. He felt himself slipping away into darkness.

_Rise up, Knight. Let no more Blood be spilled this day._


	8. A1C3P1: Hero of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of ==> Strife. Aka last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwu smol bean. Also, Star doesn't have a typing quirk yet. Maybe he just won't...

_ Hero of Blood _

_No one's POV_

Karkat rose from the Quest Bed in a nimbus of shimmering light. Krosei knelt,and Star did the same. Dave just stared as Karkat's outfit transformed into the appropriate God tier outfit. Karkat opened his eyes and looked around, then yelped as he realized he was floating. Dave snapped out of his trance to snicker.

KARKAT: OH SHOOSH STRILONDE!

DAVE: sorry. Jeez.

KARKAT: YOU'RE NOT SORRY! YOU'RE NOT SORRY AT ALL!

DAVE: all jokes aside, damn. I didn't expect that shit. That's interesting.

KARKAT: WHAT'S INTERESTING?

DAVE: Y'know, the whole coffee shop/Quest Bed thing.

KROSEI: Y3ah, W3ll, it wa2 trIcKy to set up. 2tar, bab3, c0uld yOu?

STAR: Yeah, sure. I'll put the shop back.

KROSEI: ThAnk2.

Karkat leapt down from the Quest Bed, during himself off. 

KARKAT: SO DAVE, YOU WANT SOME COFFEE? I'M THIRSTY, AND THOUGHT I'D OFFER TO MAKE UP FOR PUTTING YOU THROUGH ALL THIS. I'LL PAY.

DAVE: Sure. Wait a sec, I know Star! He's the owner of this fuckin place!!

KARKAT: WELL SHIT DUDE, THAT'S FUCKIN... SOMETHING. I DUNNO.

Star restored the coffee shop, and everyone went inside for a cup of coffee. Y'know, like you do after you've almost had five heart attacks.

End note: Until sexy times...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat be smooth tho. XD.


	9. A1C3P2: in the shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside the coffee shop, we get a look at how the bands work. Over a nice cup of coffee or two, of course. Or three. Because why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're returning to band stuff after this chapter. Don't worry, the all over the place feeling is supposed to be there.

_A1C3P2: Inside the Shop_

_Karkat_

Inside the shop, Karkat went to a table and sat down. Dave sat across from him. Krosei stopped by their table.

KROSEI: Hey, WhAt d0 YoU gUy2 wAnT?

DAVE: Uh, caramel macchiato for me. I've found that I like them.

KARKAT: SAME FOR ME, I GUESS. I'VE NEVER HAD CARAMEL BEFORE. IS IT GOOD?

DAVE: Yes. It's salty and sweet at the same time. Odd, but good.

KARKAT: COOL. 

DAVE: Yeah.

KROSEI: C0ol, ii'll be riight back.

Krosei left the table to get their drinks, leaving the table in awkward silence. A few minutes passed, then Dave broke the silence.

DAVE: Ok, I have to say this or it'll bug me forever. Why does Krosei look familiar?

KARKAT: I DUNNO. THERE IS SOMETHING ODD ABOUT HIM.

ARCIAZ: Well, lads, the answers sittin' near ya! Heh heh.

DAVE: What the hell's that supposed to mean, then?

ARCIAZ: It's not that complicated. Think. Who's in the shop besides us four?

KARKAT: CHILD OF A WRIGGLER.

DAVE: Shit. It's us, isn't it?

ARCIAZ: Only Time knows that, laddie.

Krosei brought their drinks, and Karkat stared. 

KARKAT: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. WHAT'S THE SWIRLY WHITE FOAM ON TOP? WHAT'S THE BROWN DRIZZLY STUFF? IS IT GOOD? WHAT???

DAVE: *chuckle* The foam is called whipped cream. I might show you how you make it, if I can get an electric mixer. 

KARKAT: OK, BUT IS IT GOOD?

DAVE: Yeah. It's actually cold, so it'll cool down the coffee.

KARKAT: SO WHAT'S THE BROWN DRIZZLY STUFF?

DAVE: That's caramel. Sometimes you can color it with food coloring, which is exactly how it sounds. It colors food.

KARKAT: SO, WHAT DO I DO?

DAVE: Here. Take the straw and scoop up some of the whipped cream and caramel.

KARKAT: OK.

DAVE: Now eat it.

Karkat put the straw in his mouth, and his mind EXPLODED. 

KARKAT: *MUFFLED GROAN OF HAPPINESS*

DAVE: Good?

Karkat simply nodded. The two sat for a while, just having coffee.

KARKAT: SO DAVE, WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?

DAVE: Some rock, some rap, y'know, whatever.

KARKAT: YEAH. I MOSTLY LISTEN TO ROCK. SOME OF IT'S SURPRISINGLY CALMING.

DAVE: Uh huh. 

KARKAT: SO THEN, WHAT BANDS DO YOU COVER?

DAVE: Um, let's see, Imagine Dragons, we've done one Shinedown song, that's it really. Oh, and one Kuinka song. That's our outlier, cause that's not rock. We just do those, and people are happy.

KARKAT: BUT NO NEW STUFF?

DAVE: Nah. No time. Which is ironic, considering. What about you?

KARKAT: WE TRY TO GET NEW STUFF, BUT IT'S HARD.

DAVE: Albums? Ours are Night Visions for Imagine Dragons, Amaryllis for Shinedown, and The Heartland for Kuinka.

KARKAT: THE END IS WHERE WE BEGIN FOR TFK, LEAVE THIS TOWN AND BAPTIZED FOR DAUGHTRY. THOSE, AND THEIR NEWEST SINGLE.

DAVE: Cool, bro. We should tour together.

KARKAT: YEAH. I'LL ASK THE OTHERS ABOUT IT.

DAVE: I'll do the same on my end.

Krosei came back over to the table, whistling merrily.

KROSEI: Wiill that b3 all f0r you b0y2?

DAVE: I'm good, yeah. Karkat?

KARKAT: YEAH.

KROSEI: C00l. You know how to geT iin?

DAVE: Yep. Draw a door, two windows and a roof, the more detailed the better. Knock twice and wait.

With that, they got up, paid, and left.


	10. A1C3P3: discussions. Just for clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions on the walk home. Maybe a handhold or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFY GOODNESS! ESVTZZFGCUGG dyyXsxrtxdyygcdtxdu!

_A1C3P3: discussions. Just to clarify._

_Theme song for this chapter: So Far Gone by Thousand Foot Krutch. Listen to it while reading. See what mental images are conjured._

_Theme for the "who's singing?" bit: Easy, Dear (The Light) by Kuinka._

_ Dave _

Dave was acutely aware of how close Karkat was to him. He brushed his more...unsavory thoughts aside, and asked the question he'd meant to all night.

DAVE: So, how did you show up at the shop?

KARKAT: WELL, I ONLY LIVE ABOUT A BLOCK AWAY, SO...

DAVE: Well then. I guess we both just love the shop.

KARKAT: YEAH. GUESS SO. HEY, QUESTION?

DAVE: Yeah dude?

KARKAT: DO YOU SOMETIMES JUST... LOSE YOURSELF IN MUSIC?

DAVE: Yeah, sometimes. Lots of pretty colors there too.

KARKAT: YOU TOO? SHIT DUDE. IS THERE A NAME FOR IT?

DAVE: Yep. The term is chromesthesia, I think. Also known as sound-to-color synesthesia.

KARKAT: WELL. WHAT COLORS DO YOU MAINLY SEE?

DAVE: Lot of yellows, a few blues, mostly greens actually. Some red, but mostly green.

KARKAT: HUH. I MOSTLY SEE PURPLE, RED, AND LIKE A YELLOWISH-GREEN.

DAVE: Hmmm... Interesting.

KARKAT: HANG ON A SECOND! DAVE, I JUST REALIZED THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING TO YOURSELF THIS WHOLE TIME!

DAVE: Yeah, I got therapy to fix that. I wasn't really comfortable after the first few weeks on the meteor.

KARKAT: WOW. DUDE, GO YOU. THAT'S GOOD THAT YOU RECOGNIZED THAT YOU FELT UNCOMFORTABLE, AND THEN DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

DAVE: Yeah. It just annoyed everyone else anyway.

KARKAT: CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING ELSE?

DAVE: Shoot.

KARKAT: WHO'S THAT SINGING?

DAVE: I dunno. That's our outlier though. Maybe a fan?

KARKAT: DAMN. GOOD SONG.

DAVE: Uh huh. Usually Rose and Roxy do a duet for it. They can SING man.

KARKAT: I'M SURE THEY CAN. I'D LOVE TO HEAR THAT.

DAVE: Well then, let's ask the gang if we can tour together.

KARKAT: YEAH.

Without thinking, Dave slipped his hand into Karkat's. Karkat lightly squeezed it. Dave smiled to himself. All too soon, they came to the street where they had to split up.

DAVE: So, I guess this is where we go our separate ways.

KARKAT: YEAH. I HAD A NICE TIME.

DAVE: So did I.

Karkat

Karkat didn't want to leave without Dave by his side, but he had no choice. So instead, he reached up, tracing Dave's face. He heard Dave start to ask a question, but Karkat wasn't going to back down. Not now. So he stood on tiptoe, and kissed Dave softly, gently, on the lips. He heard a sharp intake of breath, then Dave was wonderfully, miraculously, kissing him back.

((I think we'll leave off there, hmmm? Not good to leave things wrapped up nice. Gotta say, I saw it coming though. Good for you, bro.))


	11. A1C4P...5? No, it's P1. You remember now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusing hoofbeas7 shi7. I ha7e i7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highlight every goddamn thing in this chapter because Scratch is actually trying to help for once. Also, The DOMINO MODUS is versatile, and kinda OP, because you start with an ASSLOAD of captchalogue cards. the DOMINOKIND strife specibus is the most dangerous to date, because if you draw double zero, you can change strife specibii in the middle of a fight, while keeping dominokind. Everything, even jesterkind, has a pattern, but them dominoes are scary, dudes. Also, I say "dudes" and "guys" as gender-neutral, because I'm nice i guess. Enough text bullshit. Actually, last note: I overhauled the Blood powers for this one. newer, scarier.

A1C4P ~~5~~ 1: Confusing hoofbeas7 shi7, apparen7ly.

_Theme song for Artemi: Centuries by FOB, because Serket._

Your name is... wai7, who are you again? 

>Enter name.

ARROGANT---

7he name box explodes. You have a perfec7ly good name, 7hank you very much. Le7's 7ry 7his again, hm?

**_(Gimme the damn keyboard.)_ **

**_(_ ** _No, I 7hink no7. You were ra7her rude back 7here._ **_)_ **

**_(I- *huff* fine. go ahead.)_ **

>Try again.

Your name is AR7EMI SERKE7.

**_(_ Ok, mine again. I can't let you have all the fun. And I need to translate the quirk. It's just 7's as t's, right?)**

_(Alrigh7, fine. Jus7 do me jus7ice. Also, yes.)_

**_(Sure. Also, why something so...basic?)_ **

_(Because I can.)_

** _(mk.)_ **

For noobs, That's ARTEMI SERKET. Your classpect is Seer of Blood, which you thought could only appear in yellowgreens, but it seems you were wrong. Your VISION SEVENFOLD allows you to have luck in otherwise hopeless situations. It _was_ VISION EIGHTFOLD, but you lost an eye, so that's that you guess. Also to see when people will just keel over. Your THIRD EYE (not sevenfold related) allows you to See relatively well, but it's failed you before. So, you have issues, which is putting it mildly. You don't want to be here, but the boss has a way of calling that not even you can ignore. In fact, he's calling right now. You should help 7 round up everyone. That wasn't your quirk, to be clear. You set off down the halls, tipping your tricorne to the boss as you pass his office. He doesn't ask where you're going, because as an excellent host, he already knows. You keep walking. You decide to skip over the actual details because they're boring. 

You're now in the boss's office. He does NOT seem happy.

Well then, I suppose you'll have to sit back and listen.

Mr. Serket?

ARTEMI: Yes? Wha7 is i7, boss?

You know the plan, yes?

ARTEMI: Generally, yes. Bu7 7here's one 7hing I don'7 unders7and.

Well, what is it then?

Appearing on tour

ARTEMI: Well, if we're supposed 7o cap7ure 7he Knigh7s, why am I being sen7 in alone?

You won't be alone. I do have other contacts, you know. They run a coffee shop, but are easily some of the most powerful players of Sburb ever.

Grim Strides feat. Altered Misfits in

The Crossed Wires 

ARTEMI: Damn.

Language.

tour on

ARTEMI: Sorry, boss.

It's fine. You may go.

2

You regretfully stand up, regretfully because this couch is _REALLY COMFY._ You walk down the halls of the Felt Manor, humming a song only you can hear. You enter the Transportalizer and are -ALIZED right where you need to be. However, you don't do too well with teleportation, so you spend around 2 minutes silently vomiting in the nearest receptacle, which just happens to be a bucket. Goddammi7. You get up and shudder before continuing down the corridor you arrived in. Then... you see something interesting.

ARTEMI: A concer7? Wi7h bo7h marks performing? Alrigh7y 7hen. 

You speed up, not running, but definitely faster. You approach the ticket vendor...wait, ticket vendor? How and Why? 

8

ARTEMI: Hello? I would like 7o buy a 7icke7 please.

TICKET SELLER: Okay, first thing: Why can I hear the 7's? Second: ID please? Would you like to know where and when your ticket will be?

ARTEMI: Alrigh7. Bu7 I already know which 7icke7 you'll end up giving me. 

You hand over your ID, which the boss helped you acquire. Totally legit, actually.

TICKET SELLER: Wait... SERKET?! 

Sept

ARTEMI: Yeah. Why?

TICKET SELLER: Well, if you're a Serket, then that means... Is the Thief dead?

ARTEMI: No. She's s7ill alive, I 7hink. I jus7 was born lucky.

TICKET SELLER: Alright. Well, that'll be 2 dollars.

You suddenly hope you haven't forgotten your wallet... Wait, it's fine. You spin your one/three domino between your fingers, and as you do it becomes a wallet. Your wallet.

ember

ARTEMI: You said 7wo bucks?

TICKET SELLER: Yeah.

The Dizzy Quackbeast

You hand over the money, and thank the ticket seller. You walk calmly down the rest of the corridor, then break into a sprint, emerging back at the manor through a series of shenanigans your ancestors would be proud of. 

ARTEMI: Boss, I have 7he 7icke7. 

Good. Proceed immediately to the location on it, and wait for further instructions.

7:00 PM

ARTEMI: I will.

Excellent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. My name is **ARTEMI SERKET. **You may have heard of me. favorite insult: "have fun with that"****  
>  Also, Artemi was a name kinda accidentally borrowed because it just... i dunno, sounds good. It's from A Hive 8n't a Home by power464646, I believe.


End file.
